If you’re struggling to rebuild trust, closeness, and intimacy in your relationship, if your family is struggling to stay connected, or you’re dealing with anxiety, depression and negative self-feeling that comes in the aftermath of early and contemporary relationships—I can help.

The decision to seek help can be a big one, and for most people it’s scary. But therapy can ease the pain and help you find your way into new and better experience. I invite you to learn a little bit about me and my work from this website.

We hurt most when our relationship feels shaky from conflict or distance.

We ache for the security of connection and understanding when it’s missing.

We hurt most when it’s hard to find our way back to one another.

Illustration of a couple arguing

Your vulnerable loving and needing feelings for each other, though they are being kept safe from the danger of love going away, become the meaningful agents of change in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. You’ll help each other to the ground.

Illustration of a couple holding hands while their spirits fly through air

You’ll help each other through greater empathy and understanding. Trust develops that your relationship will be your net when there is trouble. That shared safety net helps you show your self to each other more and helps you risk finding your way to each other.

Illustration of a couple coming together and embracing

Children of all ages need their parents to be a safe haven & secure base. Parents’ worry can be intense and reactive when they can’t nurture & protect their children. Emotionally Focused Family Therapy helps parents work together to strengthen family bonds. The educational Hold Me Tight®/Let Me Go Program helps parents and teens understand each other better to strengthen their bond in the midst of change. The educational Hold Me Tight®/Let Me Be Me Program for Parents and their Adult Children helps family members reframe their need for connection to better fit the ever-changing roles and stages they find themselves facing as a family. This workshop is currently offered by my close friends and colleagues, Drs. Nancy and Paul Aikin in Davis, California.

Couple relating to their teenager

Robert Ogner Headshot

Hi! That’s me, Robert. I want this website to be helpful to your relationship. If you read some of the articles, or watch some of the film clips with your mate, you might get a shared sense that you will find your way together:  Read about how couple therapy helps and how you can be sure that it will help. Think together about various aspects of relating as a couple. These film clips can open your heart and help you reflect on the hard places together.

Though I’ve been at this a long time, I haven’t figured it all out yet. I am an active learner–always in collaboration with colleagues, continuing to learn from my teachers and my clients–always working vigorously to grow as a therapist/helper/human. Welcome to my website!