Welcome to my website. I’m Robert Ogner and I’ve specialized in helping couples for most of my practice life. I’ve been helping couples for so long that it has become a second nature. I have been fascinated ever since I was a young marriage therapist about the various ways good couple therapists help people when they hurt in their relationship. I made a practice, for many years, of working in co-therapist pairs when seeing couples and families. From 1988-2001 my colleagues and I had a collaborative consultation group where we compared notes about what each of us and our co-therapists did that helped our couples. And since 2010 I have been learning and working in earnest in the most beautiful and effective model of couple therapy: Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. You can learn more about Emotionally Focused Therapy on other pages of my website. I mention these aspects of my ongoing development as a therapist because I want you to know how very committed I am as a therapist that my efforts be helpful and bring you closer to those you love.  Part of my enthusiasm about helping couples is that it is always meaningful and often difficult. Knowing and feeling the challenge of always needing to grow and learn brings humility and vitality. I know the territory of the hurt you have and you will find me a useful guide and companion as you help each other into more closeness and connection.

 

The promise and the hope was that you would feel a close connection in your marriage.  You hoped to feel important, understood, admired, treasured, trusted and deeply valued. These are some of the qualities of loving that you naturally want in your marriage.  I want to help your relationship bring you the kind of happiness and satisfaction for which you hope.

You still want yourself and your partner to feel that very close connection ,  that you matter deeply to one another,  that you are essential in the most important ways to your husband or wife. But somehow that frustrating cycle of relating keeps getting in the way, or sometimes, worse, a distance develops in which it’s not easy to remember the basis for that original promise. I will work hard to help you feel this kind of connection to your partner.

There really is hope for help!  Your strong loving feelings toward one another can return as the active agent for connecting in your relationship.

All couples have worries about beginning couple therapy.  Seeking a marriage therapist can be a worrisome thing. What if your therapist doesn’t know how to help?  What if things get worse?

I promise that I will help you know how to evaluate my ability to help you very early in our work. If I am not the right therapist for you, I will help you find a better match. I only charge for the initial consultation if you decide to return.

Please take some time to explore my website with your partner.  I really do intend for this website to be full of relationship help that you can use, together, right now.  I want my website to help you to come a little closer to one another.  A great way to start is to follow the “Watch Together” link above.  Look at a few of my short video clips from the movies to help you connect with your deeper feelings of need for one another.  Or watch some of the other short videos to stimulate a conversation between you about what you are hoping to find more of between you.  If you do this together it might help your hearts soften. Next, read a few of my short articles together.  You might find yourselves thinking together about your shared vision for your relationship.  That is an incredibly valuable step in finding your way together.

Thank you,

Robert Ogner, LCSW