Author Archives: Robert Ogner

Listening is hard for everyone , but did you ever wonder why?  Think about it.  When you listen you have to put your feelings, thoughts, and ideas aside.  It means stepping out of the spotlight.  Listening puts your partner front and center.  You follow while … Continued

One of the main things we do in couple therapy is pay attention to the process and patterns in your relationship.  We do this to help open the flow of meaning and of those necessary emotional experiences that need to … Continued

By itself, of course, listening is not enough.  It needs to be paired with empathy.  Listening requires putting yourself aside to be open and receptive.  It takes work: you need to exert some genuine effort to put your partner first.  Like most things, … Continued

Your emotional life is like a compass that can orient you toward meaning and toward deep connection to yourself and to your partner.  Emotional reactivity is like an electromagnetic field that throws off the compass of your emotional and relational life. … Continued

What do we mean when we talk about connection?  Well, we most likely have different things in mind. Also, we may know what it feels like when we are connecting with our partner, but not be so able to describe the … Continued

Couple therapy helps you to feel more freedom to say the difficult things you don’t normally let yourself say.  When you keep your hurt or anger bottled up inside it creates distance between you and your partner. You then have to … Continued